Friends

Went to a baby shower today after a long streak of boycotting them. Honestly I felt a little guilty for going to this one, because on the ones I skipped I didn't even send a card. Any friends who asked me why I missed it, I was dead honest: "I hate baby showers".

BECAUSE I DO HATE BABY SHOWERS. Ladies, why must we play stupid disgusting games? Why must we start up a chorus of "Awwwweeee" after every present... a pack of spit rags is not at all cute. And really, why must it be a celebration of all things pastel and baby? What the hell is the baby doing right now? Nothing! Why can't it be a celebration of powerful womanhood... am I sounding way too crazy?

I went to this one because it fit into my party rule, which is: "I will go to your 'give me stuff' party as long as it's not the first party you've ever invited me to." You'd be surprised how many showers this policy gets me out of. Engineer wives seem to think that if you've seen them out at a group dinner twice before, you're a good friend who'd love nothing more than to walk the aisles of Babies R Us for them. They'll never get me back either... I learned this early, they have babies then fall off the face of the earth, so when my baby/wedding comes along I haven't seen them in years. So I've gotten great at saying "oh gotta wash my hair that afternoon".

Regardless, this shower was still horribly painful. I went upstairs at one point and read the paper for ten minutes so I wouldn't kill myself. Opening presents was soooo sloooow and I felt forced to smile at all the things she was struggling to make up about each gift: "Oh this will come in so handy when ____..."

I almost thought about revising my party rule. Forget the "if you've given me free beer I'll go to your baby shower", I think I have to expand it to some sort of "if you'd donated an organ for me I'll go to your baby shower" or something huge like that. Free beer = I'll send a card in the mail. I can't sit through hours of these things.

If/when my own time comes, I don't see myself getting a baby shower. Yes it'll suck to buy all the stuff we need without help but I've been such a bitch about these things, it evens out. The more I think about it, it's worth it. I didn't get a bridal shower and didn't feel like I really missed it.

Someone's got to end this cycle. I cannot be the only one who hates these things... I think I'm just the most obvious/outspoken about it. I felt bad today, it's rude to go to a party then be obviously about the fact that you're not having fun. I should have really stayed home.

I was walking by someone's desk at work and this cartoon was hung up:



I hate to say it but no matter how many times I see that it WILL make me laugh! There's absolutely nothing wrong with that joke, it's perfect. It will always be funny. It will never get old.

Which brings me on to other perfect jokes... my man claims that the best joke in the world is this one, which I told him, after I heard it from my uncle Jim:

Q: Why does a flamingo stand on one leg?
A: Because if he lifts it up he'd fall down

Q: What do gay horses eat?
A: Haaaay!

Q: What did the earth say after the earthquake?
A: Sorry, my fault

Airspeed, altitude, or brains: you need at least two.

When I first soloed back in September, I called Mom and she was so happy for me! Quickly followed by a sentiment to the effect of "You don't have to do it again, do you?" So in an effort to keep her blood pressure up I'm now flying off to places by myself... 50 miles away, 30 minutes, to little uncontrolled airports in unknown parts of America.

My flight school does have a check you have to go on before the cross country solo flights, which I took last week and it went so much better than my first checkout, the pre-solo one, remember? I've been feeling so good about flying lately. I feel like that song in Chicago, where Roxy is suddenly in a world full of YES. A lot of the stuff I was quizzed on is book-smart rules stuff, and since I just studied for my written I was good at it. I could rattle off a hundred obscure chart symbols.

And in the air, I finally get some credit/benefit from my years of avionics experience. I know how a VOR works and what the different autopilot modes do. I know all the weird random G1000 screens. Hell, in the airplane I got in yesterday, the time was set to local daylight savings even though daylight savings ended a week ago. People have just been flying it all week just going with it. I did the next pilot a good deed by setting us right.

Not to say I'm a total rockstar yet... on my checkout, I forgot the pre-landing "GUMPS" checklist twice which I feel really stupid about. It's such a beginner thing. You do it before starting any descent below pattern altitude, I've done it a million times, so... arg. It basically consists of making sure the fuel is coming from both fuel tanks, fuel mixture is fully rich, everybody has seat belts on, landing and taxi lights are on... THEN LAND. And when we get to the "U" in GUMPS which stands for "undercarriage" we say "gear fixed" just to show that we can think about a landing gear... someday I might be in an airplane where I really don't want to land gear up. Right now I'm in an airplane where it doesn't go up, but they want the thought in your head early.

Anyhow back to yesterday... the weather was incredible. Barely 8 knots of wind lined up almost perfectly with the runway, no clouds for 25,000 feet. In Kansas this has to be a sign of the apocalypse. But since "apocalypse" isn't a factor in determining VFR weather minimums, I was off. I flew 30 minutes out to Pratt, landed, taxied off the runway and sent my instructor a text message to say I'd made it. Then I came home.

On the way home I was supposed to open my flight plan... I did "flight following" on the way out there, which is where you talk to someone in Kansas City who watches out for you. If you file a flight plan they don't really watch out for you per se, but they will go out looking for you if you don't show up at your destination when you're supposed to.

Which happened to me. Little mixup there. I was running about 30 minutes behind schedule, and when I took off from Pratt and opened the flight plan I figured they'd notice I was behind and change the times for me. That's not how it works, I learned. When I got home and called them up to close the flight plan they said it was already closed because "search and rescue called Wichita tower to make sure you were back." I paused for a minute.

"Am I in trouble?"

No, he said just make sure I extend the flight plan (or be very clear about what time I was off my departure point, which I knew I was supposed to do, just didn't get it out). ughhh. Next time.

The other bad thing was right after takeoff, flight service told me to "contact flight watch" on a frequency, so I did. Told them who I was and that I was enroute to Wichita. They were like, "Okay, what did you want from us?" Oh hell I don't know... I barely know what flight watch is, I just thought I was supposed to contact them. I took a stab and said, "Traffic advisories?" They don't do that. Well crap. So now I have something to research this week.

But seriously, if the worst thing I do on a flight is make an ass of myself over some radios I call it a good flight. I made two safe landings, accurately calculated my fuel requirements, and always knew where I was. I got to watch the sun start to set behind me on the way home, the sky was big and pink and the angle of the light made all the little creeks shimmer. From up there, nothing was wrong with the world. I'll take it.

This week I got to see Wicked for the first time ever, a touring company came through Wichita and it ran here for several weekends. Marc and I splurged for tickets as sort of an anniversary present to ourselves, if I can remember. Anyway it was absolutely amazing. I left feeling like I was in some kind of enchanted musical world. The characters were so easy to relate to, the costumes were amazing, the songs were only-halfway familiar so I felt like I knew a few but also got swept away in new things.

Which leads me to want to make this list of Musicals I've Seen On Stage... not sure I can remember every single one, but I'm going to try. At least I know I can remember my favorites.

Musicals my high school put on - I did stage crew for several years of musicals. I auditioned once, didn't make the cut, and that year taught me that stage crew is where you really get the good seats. Plus if you're part of the chorus you get treated like a herded sheep. But I got to lurk around on catwalks and sit right ON the stage out of view, wearing all black and admiring others. Perfect. We did Damn Yankees, Guys and Dolls, and my all-time favorite Crazy for You. Nice work if you can get it, and you can get it if you try. Also I should mention Evita, which was put on by an area high school before Madonna made it cool. I'm not sure Evita makes a great high school musical but they get bravery points.

Musicals I saw at Theater in the Park - Shawnee Mission Park has this great outdoor stage that my family used to get season tickets to. We'd sit out on blankets and bring cokes and enjoy the weather. I saw Footloose, Once Upon a Mattress, Brigadoon, Annie Get Your Gun. And did I see 1776 there? Or Fiddler on the Roof?

Musicals I've see at Century II in Wichita - Well there was Miss Saigon, the most depressing show ever. But there was also my favorite musical experience, when I saw Rent with a livejournal friend who's lj name I can't remember, but her name was Sydney and she camped out for cheap front-row tickets for us. It was the best way to see Rent. Other faves: Les Misérables, The Producers.

Other scattered ones: My parents took the whole family to see Phantom of the Opera when it came through KC my junior year. It was completely unforgettable and amazing. They also took us to see CATS which totally mesmerized me, even if it is kinda weird.

I've seen some dinner theater productions too, which are never AMAZING but you can say you got to see the show (and enjoy a buffet). On that list: Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and Chicago.

Looking over the list I mostly think of musicals I love but haven't seen. Like, if I'm not sure if I've seen 1776 on stage, that right there is a problem, I need to see it again. And where's The King & I, is that really missing? I've also always wanted to see Pippin even though I know nothing about it. Just gotta pay attention, keep the dreams alive here. That's what being a fan is all about.

Poor little Billy Dee doesn't sound like a healthy piggy. Ever since we got him, he's been sort of a noisy breather. It's tough to explain. Since then he's just gotten progressively worse, very slowly, until in recent weeks we'd notice days where he just sounded sick. He grunts, wheezes, labors at breathing.

But he's so darn sweet! Never bites, loves to just chill out with us on the couch. I pet him when I go by the cage and he just chills out. He'll eat any healthy food we put in there... he's the one who gets the others to try tomatoes and fruits.

Guinea pigs are prone to upper respiratory infections, but those are usually fast-moving and come with other symptoms. Since Billy has a healthy appetite and we haven't had any other sick pigs, I wasn't sure what could be up. Either way we decided it was time to see the vet.

So I put him in the pet wagon, which he didn't like, drove him in the car, which he didn't like, and he got a full exam, which he REALLY didn't like. It's so tragic watching trained medical professionals try to deal with a teeny little squirmy pig. I had to do my best not to crack up laughing... the nurse tried to set him on this scale and hoped he'd stay in this little bowl, obviously he wouldn't. The doctor checked his ears and listened to his heart and lungs with a stethoscope which is hysterical.

They asked if I'd pay for an x-ray... about $80, on top of the $40 exam. They understand that a lot of people don't like paying huge vet bills for guinea pigs, after all you can get the buggers for free off craigslist, but when I consider all the bedding, food, and cage supplies we spring for on a regular basis I don't think a couple hundred bucks is a huge deal. There are people in guinea_pigs who buy surgery for their pets... Marc and I have discussed that sort of thing, after reading too many very expensive stories that don't end so well we've decided that we will have a limit. But an x-ray sounded like a good idea.

The x-ray was adorable too, of course. A guinea pig x-ray looks like this: the top 1/3 has a head, heart, lungs, brain, all this important stuff. The rest is pure belly. It just reinforced my belief that these are ridiculous animals.

Unfortunately the x-ray showed other bad things: a mass of denser tissue in his lungs that just shouldn't be there. The vet said it could be tumors, but more likely it was scar tissue from an old injury. If Billy had cancer he wouldn't be so happy and willing to eat tons of food. But scar tissue is common... since we have no idea what his history is (he came from a home who got him from a home who got him who knows where) he could easily have suffered an accident we don't know about. Maybe when he was little he was dropped, or stepped on, and some internal bleeding occurred, and it didn't seem to have an effect at the time but it's worn on him.

The vet recommended some cortisone drops, twice a day, to relax the tissue a bit and rule out allergies. We'll try it this week and if it helps we can keep him on a low dose. It should be fairly manageable.

But until we see how that turns out we're awfully worried about the little guy. He's so lovable and cuddly and we hate to see him wheezing all the time. So keep him in your thoughts. Sick pets are the pits.